The “First Step” Towards Sexual Recovery

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
James Baldwin 
 
 
“We admitted we were powerless over compulsive sex and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

The first part of the first step is miraculous for those who can attain a certain attitude.

Any great human truth contains paradoxes.  In sexual recovery, you have to lose to win.  You have to accept defeat to achieve victory.  You have to die to be reborn.  You have to surrender your will in order to achieve control.

After you accept the First Step on a very deep level, the war is over.  You can stop fighting.  The insanity has ended.  You’re free.

Freedom from addiction is a marvelous feeling.  You’ve been let out of prison and you can see the blue sky that’s been masked for a very long time.

The price for that freedom is so utterly simple.  Each day that you wake up, the one thing you know is that you can’t engage in certain sexual behaviors SAFELY.  The fact that you’re powerless over sex becomes the core of your reality and the structure of your day.

Denial breaks down and you can see that to act of the impulse to sexualize has far-reaching and devastating consequences.

I know for myself that when I don’t embrace the first step and surrender to my powerlessness over alcohol, the second part of the first step — that my life becomes unmanageable – begins the insanity all over again.

The admission of the first step, unconsciously, understands that a part of your personality is immature.  Sex/porn addiction is totally a narcissistic, self-centered experience.  Your infantile ego is crying out for MORE!!  More for ME!!  MY needs, MY wants, MY pleasure.

Embracing the first step sets you off on the gradual process of working the other eleven steps.  Once you embrace the life-view of the 12th step, you realize that happiness is not in the addiction, but rather in having a generous and compassionate attitude towards all you come in contact with.

You’ve moved from the pain of active addiction to living a life of meaning, connection and mastery.

 

 

If you’re interested in treatment,  feel free to contact me at dorothyhayden1231@gmail.com for a free 30-minute phone consultation.

http://www.sextreatment.com

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3 thoughts on “The “First Step” Towards Sexual Recovery

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