Managing Urges in Sex Addiction Recovery/Dorothy Hayden, LCSW

Reclaim Sexual Sanity:  Find Recovery Now by Calling 212-673-5717 for an Initial Consultation.  See www.sextreatment.com for 35 full-length articles about sex addiction and for details about my private practice.

sex-addiction

Ah yes, the “irresistible urge” to go back to where you know you’ll find immediate gratification, pleasure, comfort, sexual arousal, a pseudo-connection with an idealized other.

In early sex addiction treatment, these cravings can create significant distress. Your inability to handle intense sexual cravings will get you right back where you don’t way to be.

Here’s some tips on how to get through with them:

  • The “irresistible urge” is merely an uncomfortable state. It won’t last forever.  A craving is a sometimes thing.  All uncomfortable states run their course and you’ll be feeling better sooner than you think. As a recovering alcoholic, I’ve dealt with a lot of urge and cravings, especially in early recovery. Guess what? They all passed. In later recovery, I’m better at just “sitting things out” because of dealing with urges.       (For example, living for five days with no electricity, no heat, no availability to my funds, fighting with my boyfriend, etc. Yes, hurricane Sandy hit us hard.)
  • Better breathing is your route to calmness and vitality.  Teach yourself a simple breathing technique from the internet or, better yet, get a book on “pranyama” – the Yogi’s system of breathing.
  • Get Busy.  Wash the kitchen floor – – by hand. Distraction is your best friend.
  • Call a friend and talk it through.
  • Visualize the most demoralizing occurrence of your acting out.
  • Get perspective.  Really, now.  What’s so AWFUL about feeling uncomfortable for 10 minutes? Don’t catastraphize!
  • Remind yourself that a craving does not keep getting STRONGER AND STRONGER until it steadily increases until it – blows the top of your head off!! — or, you’ll fall out of the universe. It will diminish. Don’t catastraphize!
  • Distraction.  When you feel an urge coming on, immediately involve yourself with a non-sexual pleasurable activity.  The more active, the better.  Go to the gym.
  • Reflect about what could be driving the urge…an uncomfortable feeling?  A desire to avoid something?
  • Do a visualization called “urge surfing“.  Imagine yourself at the beach.  See yourself as a surfer riding the wave of a craving.  See how the waves  start small, grow in sizes, then break up and dissipate until they make up the foam along the shore line.

The above represents some coping mechanisms for dealing with urges and cravings.  I’ll be writing more about healthier coping skills for dealing with the distressful inner states that fuel the impulse to act out. I’ve been really into doing research on “coping”
If you’re interested in treatment, feel free to contact me at dorothyhayden1231@gmail.com for a free 30-minute phone consultation.

htpp://www.sextreatment.com

sex addiction therapy nyc, sex addiction treatment nyc, porn addiction therapy nyc, therapy for sex addiction nyc, treatment for sex addiction nyc, sex addiction treatment, sex addiction therapy, treatment for sex addiction, therapy for sex addiction

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s