Sex Addiction and “Unmanageability” in Living


porn-addiction

The second part of the first step states “Our lives had become unmanageable.”
There’s a connection between the two parts of the First Step.  At some point I realized that if I didn’t admit powerlessness over my addiction then my life would become unmanageable.
“Unmanageable” has different meaning to different people.  Usually there’s a “moment of clarity” where you realize in your gut that there’s a connection between viewing porn and some of the distressing areas of your life.
Maybe your marriage is in trouble.  Or you realize how much you’ve been neglecting you kids, or not paying the bills, or the loss of friends or any of the negative consequences we’ve already discussed.
More painful is internal manageability.  Your inner life, your emotional life comes to be painful almost all the time you’re not viewing porn.  A sense of shame, guilt, isolation, fear that is born from your use of porn.
Worse yet, the realization that you’ve been betraying yourself and your essential values.

It’s different for all of us.  I remember a time in early recovery when I was a guest at the home of two very wealthy gay men who were also new to recovery.  We were discussing unmanageability and one of the hosts said “One night Harold came to dinner without a jacket on and I knew our lives had become unmanageable.”

I had to admit that that was vastly different from my experience of unmanageability, but, HEY…it got them both into recovery!
If you’re interested in treatment, contact me (dorothyhayden1231@gmail.com) for a free 30-minute phone consultation.www.sextreatment.com
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: