The Fruits of Sex Addiction Recovery – A Healthy Personality


 

 

                                                                                          Dorothy Hayden, LCSW
New York, NY 10003
212-673-5717

 

The Fruits of Recovery– A Healthy Personality
If you view the end result of the recovery process exclusively as the cessation of addictive behavior, you’re selling yourself short.
Active addiction is merely a symptom of your core problems. You can be free from addiction for a period of time but if you haven’t done the hard work of introspection, self-understanding and change, your old addiction friend will sooner or later come to visit.
Addiction, especially sex addiction, involves a developmental arrest in the personality from inadequate parenting. You literally get “stuck” because an active addiction prohibits psychological growth. If your main coping mechanism is going to the addiction when you have unwanted feelings or normative stress from living, you never develop higher-level ways of functioning and coping.
Letting go of compulsive sexuality will allow you to continue that growth. Growth towards what? MATURITY?
Maybe you’re wondering what THAT is. Well, below is a list of the characteristics of a healthy personality so you know what you could be striving for in ongoing recovery.

What is a Healthy Personality?

  • In a healthy personality, the self evolves from being focused only upon itself to a widening range of people and activities. There’s a sense of focused personal involvement and participation in the activities of work and love.
  • A healthy personality has the capacity for intimacy and the capacity for compassion. The person shows authentic participation with their loved ones and concern for their welfare. Compassion is a sense of kinship with and empathy for all people because we all have our frail humanity in common.
  • Maturity includes self-acceptance, frustration tolerance and emotional control. Healthy people live with their shortcomings with little conflict within themselves. They have a basic sense of security in the self and basic trust in people and whatever spiritual meaning they embrace.
  • Mature people do not distort reality to make it compatible with their desires and fears. They accept and adjust to reality for what it is.
  • Healthy people believe in the importance of work and lose themselves in this activity. Work and responsibility provide meaning and a sense of continuity to life.
  • Healthy people can reflect on their own feelings, thoughts, impulses and desires and on the behaviors and motivations of other people. They consider the consequences of their actions and make conscious choice in the interest of their own “enlightened self-interest”.
  • Mature people have a sense of directedness which guides all aspects of a person’s life toward a goal or a series of goals and give meaning to life. Should it unfold that a particular goal is unattainable, they cultivate new goals.
Sounds pretty OK, yeah? Just keep doing the next right thing and the serenity and self-esteem of having a healthy personality can be yours.
CALL NOW FOR A FREE 30-MINUTE CONSULTATION
212-673-5717
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