The Pain of the Pleasure of Sex Addiction: Loss of Personal Power

Reclaim Sexual Sanity:  Find Recovery Now by Calling 212-673-5717 for an Initial Consultation.  See www.sextreatment.com for 35 full-length articles about sex addiction and for details about my private practice.

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You may associate power (which all sex addicts seek in the sexual fantasies and enactments) with power or control or domination over others.

I’d like to speak to you about another kind of power: defined as our ability to produce an effect, to make something that we want to happen actually take place. The result is a sense of self mastery.  It is a wonderful gift of sexual recovery.
We all have a stake in possessing power, using it, understanding it, and negotiating it.  We mediate our sex and love lives, family lives and friendships, and our work relationship with peers, subordinates and superiors.  But also in seeking to realize our dreams, whether in the pursuit of our ambitions, in expression of creative impulses, or a need to identify with or participate in something that takes up beyond our daily lives.
The true heart of power comprises both our ability to negotiate relationships and our ability to initiate independent  goal-oriented activities.
 
A sense of personal power, or agency, or self-mastery is enacted when a little boy wants to build a sand castle, a young woman seeks to scale a mountain, or the old man is set of mastering his third language.  This is the power of self-expression and mastery.
“Agency” encompasses self-assertion, the ability to choose the direction that our lives take, to become again, the master of the ship, to control our time and how we use our minds, bodies and sexuality.
 
Personal power is contingent on our ability to trust out instincts and hutches and in so doing express our deepest self.
Taken together, personal and interpersonal power constitutes the sometimes elusive capacity to write our own life stories.
 
A question for you: do you think compulsive sexual behaviors with pornography helps you achieve self-mastery, agency or personal power?
 
Wouldn’t you like to the the master of your own ship again and design your own destiny?
You can do it if you want, you know.  Treatment for sex addiction will give it back to you.
 
 
 
If you’re interested in treatment, contact me at dorothyhayden1231@gmail.com for a free 30-minute consultation.
 
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