Do you Have a Problem with Internet Porn? in a way that is contrary to our values, we keep secrets in the hope that others won’t perceive what we see in ourselves. Reaching out for help takes courage No matter what your addiction is, admitting to yourself that you have a problem that you can’t solve on your own takes a great deal of courage. Sex addiction may be the hardest addiction to admit to. It is an extremely personal and private problem, and the addict fears being loathed, despised or ridiculed. Overcoming this barrier and getting help is an action that should be respected by others, and it’s the first step in recovering your self-respect too. Getting back in touch with the person you want to be Most addicts enter a recovery process because they want to get their lives back on track and recover their self-respect. Self-respect is based on your core values and how you see yourself living up to them. Thus it is your values, the desire to become the person you once believed you were and who you want to be again, that made you reach out for help. Your values are a powerful driving force in your life, and it’s important that you get to know them and understand them. If you are a recovering sex addict, ask yourself what drove you to take the first step towards turning your life around. Identify the core values that were violated by your addiction. Now choose the single value that is more powerful and more meaningful to you than all the rest. Your next step is thinking about how that value would manifest itself in your life. That’s what you’re aiming for. That’s what makes your recovery process so worthwhile. Your values inform your goals and will become your strongest allies in your relapse prevention strategy. You are not a ‘bad’ person No addict is an inherently ‘bad’ person. They may have done things they know are wrong in their pursuit of their chosen high, they may have betrayed themselves and those closest to them, but it is addiction rather than a lack of values that caused this to happen. As part of your recovery, you will try to make amends with those you have wronged, including yourself. You may not be forgiven by the people you have hurt, but it is important that you forgive yourself. Understand that you are leaving the past behind and that you will be living up to your values from now onwards, one day at a time. Recovery from addiction is a very uncomfortable process, but by keeping your values in clear sight, by having the vision of what you are striving to achieve in front of you, you can ease your path. What you are trying to accomplish is worthwhile. You are worthwhile. You are not only recovering your self-respect, you are earning it! About the Author: Dorothy C. Hayden, LCSW, is a psychoanalyst and sex addiction therapist located in Manhattan, New York.  Her book “Total Sex Addiction Recovery-A Guide to Therapy” is considered as ‘recommended reading’ in the field of sex addiction therapy. http://www.sextreatment.com


Do you have a Problem with Internet Pornography?

  1. Do you find yourself spending increasing amounts of time online looking at pornography or engaged in sexual or romantic intrigue?
  2. Do you become involved in multiple romantic or sexual affairs online at the same time?
  3. Being truly honest with yourself, do you think pornography use or online sexual activity violates your marital commitments?
  4. Have you been unable to cut back on the frequency of your online sexual involvement despite a thought that you should do so?
  5. Have you been unable to “stay away” from sexual materials, sites, or interactions that have made you uncomfortable or worried about yourself when you previously viewed them?
  6. Does online porn use interfere with home life, work or school (such as making you tired because of the previous night’s use?
  7. Does pornography use intrude on relationships that are important to you?  Have you experienced a decrease in your intimate sexual life?
  8. Do you collect pornography, keeping hundreds of videos or images stored in your computer?
  9. Do you engage in online fantasy acts  or view other porn depicing illegal or violating sexual acts such as rape, bestiality or child porn?
  10. Has the time you spent interacting with friends, family and loved ones decreased because of your porn use or fantasy involvement?
  11. Do you lie or keep secrets about the amount of time you spend interacting with porn, the type of porn you view, or the types of activities you engage in online?
  12. Do you have sex – either in online fantasy, or in person – with someone other than your partner?
  13. Do you become irritable, angry, or extremely ashamed when asked to give up porn involvement to engage with partners, family, or friends?
  14. Has the primary focus of your sexual or romantic life become increasingly related to images found in magazines, videos, or Internet activity?

If you are excessively involved in any one of these areas, or has had problematic consequences as a result of any one of these, it can be a clear sign of concern that something needs to be addressed.

Involvement with illegal online sexual activity is always a problem and should be brought up with a professional therapist who is skilled with these issues.

People who said yes to one to three of the symptoms should openly discuss their concerns with a caring friend.  More than three positive answers indicate the need form more professional support of counseling.

http://www.sextreatment.com

(Adapted from Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age; Robert Weiss and Jennifer Schneider)

tags: Sex Addiction Therapy NYC, Sex Addiction Treatment NYC, Therapy for Sex Addiction NYC, Treatment for Porn Addiction NYC

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