How to Help Your Spouse Recover from Porn Addiction

A few years ago, a good friend of my wife’s confided in us that her husband was attempting to recover from porn addiction. His use of porn had escalated over the years and didn’t stop after they got married, affecting their emotional and physical relationship with each other. Helping your spouse recover from porn addiction is a long process and can strain your marriage. Here are a few tips to help.

 

This might be a painful process, but you’ll feel better knowing that you stood by your spouse’s side as he or she struggled to recover from porn addiction. Continue to be as understanding as possible when it comes to your physical relationship; however, you must remember that your needs are important, too.

Try Not to Judge

Porn addiction is no different from any other addiction and shouldn’t be treated differently. You might feel negatively about the addiction, but your spouse still needs your love and support. If you find that you are becoming overwhelmed, walk away from the situation and try to get some perspective. You and your spouse will probably need some time off to deal with your mutually exclusive fears and worries, so don’t look at it as though you are abandoning your spouse.

Find a Confidant

While most problems between a husband and a wife should be kept private, you may need some outside help to deal with your spouse’s porn addiction. What many people don’t understand about addiction is that there are secondary factors. One of the most important ones is the way the spouse feels about the situation. Before you can help your spouse, you must deal with your own feelings first, so find a therapist, a friend or a relative in whom you can confide.

Know When to Be Firm

Relapses are common when recovering from porn addiction, so you will have to be your spouse’s rock. If he or she wants to “back-pedal”, it will be up to you to set guidelines and boundaries. You can be loving and supportive while still standing firm on some issues, such as looking at porn. If you need help, you can always solicit the advice or support of a trusted friend or family member.

Establish Open Communication

Even more than alcohol or drug addiction, porn addiction is often embarrassing. Even if you and your spouse have been married for many years, he or she might have difficulty talking about it. While this may be difficult, it is up to you to establish open communication. Your spouse will have an easier time recovering from porn addiction if he or she can talk about it in a non-judgmental, supportive forum.

Attempt to Relate

If you have ever suffered from an addiction — porn or otherwise — this is a great time to relate to your spouse about his or her recovery. Explain that you experienced the same fears, pains, anxieties and depression as your spouse and assure him or her that it will pass. Talk about ways that you coped with your own addiction and how those methods might apply to this situation. Just be careful not to get too preachy on the subject; your spouse has his or her own individual demons to fight.

Realize That it Isn’t Rare

Since the advent of the Internet, porn addiction has become increasingly common. Thousands of people are addicted to porn worldwide, some of whom don’t even realize it. An addiction is simply defined as a compulsion toward one specific activity, so much so that it interferes with everyday life. Your spouse isn’t gross or obscene or weak; he or she is simply a human being who struggles with certain aspects of life.

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